btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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