operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
