Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
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we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
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