we made out on top of his cat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
