You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
