Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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