ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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