you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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