What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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