Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
