drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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