toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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