last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
