No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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