You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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