hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
