I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Randomize
