omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
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There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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