Christians are straight up FREAKS
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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