forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
