I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
