well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize