chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Randomize
