I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Randomize
