i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
