Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I think I swiped left on my soulmate