Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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