there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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