If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
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