I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
