Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
