Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
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I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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