yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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