I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
