I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
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