you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It's blow job season.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Text me some of your sweat
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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