Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
