They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it was like eating out sand paper
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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