He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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