Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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