hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
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But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked