4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
