I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
