her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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