I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize