do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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