I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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