I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
