Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
