wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
