i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize