so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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