I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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