Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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