Sponge bath it is.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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